The nuclear family is falling into a distant memory as more and more couples bring their relationship to an end for various different reasons. What has become apparent is that when couples have children the effect on them can be damaging. Surely what’s important is to maintain a stable relationship for the child so each parent is able to spend time with their child without the parents own relationship being present
This week Britain’s most senior family judge, Sir Nicholas Wall, attended Families Need Fathers event in Coventry where he warned that parents are damaging children by using them as a “battlefield and ammunition.” Parents use children to gain advantage on the other and use that to cause hurt and pain which they have suffered through there own relationship. The child becomes a revenge mechanism without thought of what is best for the child. As Sir Nicholas Wall highlighted many couples “rarely behave reasonably” and are oblivious to the damage and hurt they can cause and as a result the child suffers.
Many couples believe that single parenting is a simple process however this is a misleading guide as many single parents find that the separation of their family is an extremely difficult process. Separating their own personal feelings with the interest of the child is one of the most difficult things a single parent can do. Sir Nicholas Wall highlighted that “the more intelligent the parent the more intractable the dispute” making the process even more difficult for all involved.
So what would make the process of separation better for all involved? It has been suggested by Sir Nicholas Wall that there has to be damage limitation procedures in place to minimize the damage that may be caused. He has suggested that the battle over custody should be removed from the courts and compulsory mediation should be installed. This would allow each parent to explain how they feel about the situation and to allow suitable arrangements to be put in place without bringing the matter before the courts. This would in turn allow the parties to vent there feelings limiting the damage which may be caused to child which should at least be the key focus point on which both parties can agree upon.